Bonus Blogpost: The End of a Decade & My Top 10 Lessons

Just before this #SweetDecade (my personal hashtag) ends, I decided to share the top 10 lessons I have learnt so far and how they have shaped & still shaping me on my journey to "becoming me".  Let's dive right into it

  • One of my best lessons from this decade is to "take one day at a time". This for me was a difficult one to accept considering the kind of person that I am. I love my things to work out a certain way especially the way i've planned it but for some reason, life taught me in this decade not to overplan anything and just breathe. To be honest, that is one of the many things I'm taking with me into the new decade.

This was one of the last pictures I took before leaving Sweden in 2018😍

  • Another great lesson from this decade is that"nothing lasts forever". I experienced this so many times in this decade in relation to friendships, possessions and even health wise. I remember the story I shared here on bella naija on how I lost some of my belongings just after my wedding and some other disappointments I faced in 2015. At that point in my life, I was so sad and felt nothing was working out for me but I tell y'all, nothing in this life lasts forever. Everything has it's own season and time. That was just a phase that I had to go through at that point in time. There have been so many things that have happened afterwards that i'm grateful for but one great lesson i've learnt in this decade is that no matter what you are going through, it is just for a season and will not last forever. How long it will last for? no one knows but you just have to keep pushing.

Throwing all the way back to my preggy face & body. All swollen. Did it last forever? Of course not😃

  • Be intentional. This for me took a while but i'm glad this decade didn't end without me putting it into practice in some aspects of my life. Be intentional about everything. What you eat, the kind of friends that you keep, even to how you dress up. There is a phrase I saw on twitter one day that says, "be you, the world will adjust". I held this close to my my heart and i'm glad I did. Let people know you, for who you are, "oh she doesn't wear that, oh don't invite her for that occasion, oh she doesn't eat that". That being said being intentional about you may not make everybody happy but this has personally worked for me and cheers to more rules that will be set in the new decade and beyond.

  • And how about patience? Let me just mention that I thought I understood the word "patience" way before I got married but it turned that I only understood what I call "surface patience". Marriage and motherhood had to "reteach" me that word all over again. Wawu😂, my patience has been put into practice in this decade on several occasions. The way I have grown to be #HappyWifeHappyLife & #HappyMamaBear is not a walk in the park. It still drives back to my number 3 of being intentional. You have to make that decision. I remember having a discussion with one of my childhood friends on how we use to have so many expectations in marriage and life as a whole, without thinking about the hardwork and patience that comes into it. Whatever you desire in this life, you can have it but it takes a whole lot of hardwork, perseverance & patience. 

How about me bringing back this #HotPreggersMama picture to explain how being pregnant alone can teach you patience😁

  • Failure is part of the growth process. Welcome to real life where you should never be afraid to fail. I have failed so many times in my life. Looking back now, there were some ways I could have avoided some, but there were some that were meant to be, just so that I can be a better person. There won't be growth if there is no failure. Is failure painful? yes. But once, you are in that phase, slay it and move on. Cry, be sad but don't stay in that web for too long simply because life won't wait for you. You have to keep moving. The word that has always kept me going during any trying moment is "giving up is not an option".

That face you give when nothing is working but you gotta keep pushing because giving up is not an option😋

  • You are always in the middle. This was another great lesson that I finally accepted in this decade. No matter where, what or who you are in life, you will always be in the middle. There will always be people that will be better than you and you will always be better than some people. It took a while before I accepted this and i'm still learning this but the moment you accept this reality, jealously, hatred, envy, backbiting and all those negative thoughts you have towards people will gradually wash away.

My middle face be like "nopes, i'm not gonna smile since you have decided to shade me😂"

  • How about accepting that not everybody will like you and vice versa. To be honest, I don't think I could have said this earlier on in this decade. However, right now, I can boldly and confidently say that, not everybody will like you no matter what you do. It's okay and you shouldn't fret about it. Simply because if the table is turned there are lots of people you don't like aswell. This is just life, you cannot love everyone nor be friends with everyone and vice versa. Of course you can try, but please do not push beyond your boundary simply because, what will be, will be.

I mean "whatever"...Best caption ever😍

  • Adulting is a scam. The journey to becoming "you" is not a walk in the park. There is a lot of competition, hatred, setback, delay & negativity out there and guess what? You have to fight your way through all these to become the person you will be proud of. When I was younger, I wanted to grow up so fast and become independent. Now I am grown and I miss being a teenager hahahahaa. The older you get, the more you will realize 24 hours may not even be enough. There are so many things in your head, so many dreams but the reality is that "the spirit is willing but the flesh may sometimes be weak" hahhahahaha. This still boils down to my number 1 point of taking one day at a time. Yes, you can try but don't beat yourself up when things don't work as planned. It's a journey and we keep trying till we can try no more.

Serving an Adulting face even though it's a scam😄

  • Just do it. This might sound like a clichè but i'm a testimony to that. In this decade, I completed two masters degree. Was it easy? no. Did it worth it? of course yes. What about being a blogger for two years? Was I worried I would fail? yes of course. Did I do it afraid?  Effing yes. I am still struggling with doing so many things afraid but I am definitely holding this with me to 2020 and beyond "just do it". 

Just do it - I perfected that #MirrorSelfieThang this year😝

  • Finally, do not take life too seriously. Well, a lot of people will say "hmm that's not a good way to handle life". Well, I am here to tell you that you should loosen up. Go for that vacation today, buy that expensive shoe today, take a lot of pictures, forgive people, let go and move on. This has advantages and disadvantages of course but everything in life is about moderation, I tell you. This especially has worked for me in my marriage. I say this all the time, life is already hard, adulting is a scam so what do you do? have fun of course as much as you can. Personally, i'm not the one to party, i'm more of an introvert/laid back plus an 100% family person. That being said, when i'm with my family, i'm a completely different person. We crack jokes a lot and make fun of everything. I'm definitely holding this with me into the new decade as this for sure kept me going in this decade

I mean loosen up, not eveytime, serious, serious...😝

Overall, I would say, I have learnt a lot in this decade, this is just the tip of the iceberg and my favourites. This was the decade I bloomed from that young girl into a lady that I love. This was the decade I met and married the love of my life, became a Mum to my pretty bunny, lived in 2 different countries aside my home country, learnt to loose and let loose, be intentional and above all, started the journey to becoming me and more. Do I have regrets? oh yes, there were some things I could have done differently. Am I proud of who I am? Of course yes? Would I change anything? Well, if I could turn back the hands of time yes but since I can't then, no, I would rather work on being a better person than change anything.

My best picture of 2016😍 #OldieButGoodie

Oh and this lovely picture from my NYSC dinner in 2015😍

In conclusion, I am looking forward to the new decade and what it has in store for me and mine. The plan is to take one day at a time, while not giving up and working hard to becoming me. I hope you have also learnt one or two lessons from my lessons and I also hope that you have some lessons you are taking with you to the new decade just like me. This is my last post for 2019. I have to mention I am grateful for you (yes you) for sticking to my blog. I will see you in 2020. Cheers to the end of a #SweetDecade and the beginning of a new one🥂... Until next time...💋