Life Musings

This post is for people who always feel that living abroad means that you are "living your best life". Scrap that lie. I am here to tell you that living abroad can also be HARD. Yes I just said that. I am not here to discourage anyone nor am I here to say that life in Nigeria or any part of Africa is better than "abroad", BUT it is very important to note that when people decide to relocate abroad, they are not living their best life or whatever life you are imagining on their behalf 🤣 nor do they pluck money from trees. They might just be living their normal life and also have the opportunity to have easy accessibility to many things such as electricity, internet, security etc but this doesn't still mean that you should conclude that the "abroad" people are better off than you simply because of all those fine background and pictures that you see on social media☹️. I am just going to run through 5 reasons why living abroad can also be hard. 

1) Bills are high: I remember my first month in Sweden and my husband wanted to pay the house rent bills. My Nigerian brain converted the amount he wanted to pay in Naira and I screamed like seriously😱. I started questioning him on why we are paying so much, blah, blah, blah. I felt like it is those rich people or let me just say a little bit above middle class range people that would be paying that amount of money for rent in Nigeria. The bills are so high and you begin to wonder why. Simply because you are not even living your best life yet and you are paying so much on electricity, internet, heat and others. I am not saying you won't enjoy the comfort that comes with high bills but when compared to back home in Nigeria you might not spend that much to be comfortable.

2) Taxes are high: In relation to bills being high, taxes are also freaking high. Don't even be deceived when you get your first job and you see some thousands of pounds or dollars that would be paid to you per annum. My dear brothers/sisters, when the taxes are removed, you pay your bills, buy food and do all the necessary monthly rituals, well, I am here to tell you that, you might just have enough for you. So for those people that always feel that people abroad are stingy when they request for financial support. I think it is better to encourage your friends/family that live abroad, pray for them and appreciate whatever they do for you than complaining all the time #MyOpinion.

3) How about having people around you🤔: I remember when I had my daughter. There were so many days I felt alone and wished I had a family member living close by. Living abroad takes you away from your loved ones. Of course, you can always make new sets of friends BUT it can never be the same as having family member(s) living around you. If I was living in Nigeria when I had my baby, getting a support system won't be an issue. Furthermore, you would also notice that peeps living abroad tend to plan how they want to have their kids. People either do family planning or wait a while before having all their kids simply because you do all the work yourself. It can be really expensive and also overwhelming sometimes. Again, I am not saying that living abroad is not convenient because you can always use the washing machine, dishwasher, etc but all these come with a price plus they cannot take over the love and peace you get from your family.

4) Let's talk about Foodstuff😭: This breaks my heart a lot💔. Apart from the fact that home food stuffs are not readily available. When you now finally get to find them in African stores, they are double and sometimes triple the price you will get it from your home country. A lot of times, I feel cheated like why will I pay so much to buy one or two items. The sad part of it is that some of these items are not as fresh as what you will get from home. So you are paying so much for what is not even fresh😥. Please tell me, how does that mean you are living your best life🤔? I have seen a lot of my friends buy these food stuffs from home and ship or post it down to wherever they are living. I have tried it once and I can say that it is equally expensive. So talk about fresh food at an affordable price, your home country will always be a better option.

5) Finally in terms of Career: Hmm, don't let me even start. A lot of people after relocating abroad either start a new career entirely or take some years doing bridging courses to align their degrees to fit into the system of whatever country they are living. This is very common amongst married women (me inclusive) when they decide to relocate together with their husband. This phase can be really hard/heartbreaking when you discover that most of the educational background you had back home might not be so relevant abroad. Adult education is not also easy considering the so many responsibilities/distractions that are involved. Although some women might be lucky to fit into the system without any sweat or stress but most people that I know, have either changed their career path entirely or done one course, diploma or programme just to fit in. A lot of times when you look at some of your friends that you left back home in your country or even those friends that you started your career together with, you will discover that most of them have moved tremendously higher in their career and doing really well while you are still struggling to fit in. Inasmuch as its not good to compare your life with others, this can be heartbreaking sometimes when your career is not going on as you would have wished or wanted.

How about the partying and having fun part🙊don't even tell me that abroad is better. I will argue that one till whenever😜. Yes I have seen people organize 'owanbes' (parties) abroad BUT the truth is having a proper party. I mean that party where you can enjoy seeing your friends around, catching up with old family members, eating proper Nigerian Jollof😝, dancing so much that you forget all your problems temporarily anywayz🙈😂 and lots more cannot be gotten anywhere in the world except in your home country. I am not saying that the people organizing owanbes abroad are not getting the vibes but if you want to get the proper vibes, taste a Nigerian party in Nigeria and thank me later😝... Sadly, I have missed most of my friends' owanbe and I haven't attended any proper owanbe in three years but I am seriously looking forward to the next one. We gonna rock that parry (party) hard💃🏾

Overall, why then do people decide to live abroad? Well there are thousands of reasons why people choose to live abroad such as being able to get basic amenities at ease, safety interms of good roads, security, etc. Ability to attend the best schools in the world, ability to give your children options to choose from in terms of schools, lifestyle and everything in general. However, just like I said all these things come with a PRICE. You work extremely hard for it. So the next time, you see somebody living abroad and you feel jealous or bitter. Just know that they are working so hard. Appreciate them and be thankful on their behalf rather than misyearning (saying things that can offend the other person). I hope I have been able to enlighten one or two people about the so called 'abroad' life and I also hope that you had fun reading this article as much as I had fun writing it. Until next time...💋